Either in person or, more often, on social media, people going through a hard time or medical crisis may ask for the prayers of those who care about them. Which can present a dilemma for those who care, but don’t believe in the kind of God who answers petitionary prayers.
How do you offer blessings to those who are struggling?
I, as the statement proposes, do not count on prayers to solve many kinds of problems. When it comes to medical problems, I grant those who have trained themselves to be as educated and as experienced as possible, my faith in them to alleviate the difficulty, which is sometimes very serious. I try to encourage the one who suffers the understanding that the help that is given is due to human knowledge and compassion. If I recognize that something is happening that, in my opinion, shouldn’t be happening, I go to the top of command and discuss it and try to have the proper attention given ASAP.
I believe that the tendency of some to try to please everyone by addressing a prayer to every possible word for the divine–Mother, Father, Spirit of LIfe, Oneness… is misguided. Rather than pleasing everyone, it is possible to offend everyone.
Many men, whether consciously or not, view every human interaction as hierarchical–you’re either one up or one down, equal does not compute. Mentioning Mother before Father sends them into a panic that “women are trying to take over and make us the ones down.” Staunch believers in anthropomorphic monotheism may take offense at the mystic concept that god is everything, the “Oneness”–Help! Heresy! You’re all going to hell.
Personally, I dislike the nods to anthropomorphic theology suggested by “Mother” and/or “Father.” I believe it leads to all sorts of counterproductive beliefs and actions. If god is a person or persons, it’s a short step to god being someone who thinks, passes judgement, etc. like we humans do. “God has a plan” so they don’t try to do what they can for themselves or others. God creates everyone with original sin, and therefore, we need to be “saved.” And on and on.
I learned a better way to pray from the example of The Rev. Becky Edmiston-Lange of Emerson UU here in Houston. Guess what? We don’t have to address a prayer to any entity. We can simply say, “We give thanks for…” or “May those affected by the hurricane find comfort and help to get their lives back together” or “We pray for world peace.”