Even if you don’t believe in Santa, it’s easy to feel as if you are being judged by an invisible presence, that your actions and even your very being need to meet some undefined standard. But what if the watcher were merely interested, with no more notion of what was good or bad than a cat?
How is your life affected by a fear of being judged?
I am a female with a career in a traditionally male-dominated field. Not to toot my own horn, but I am good at what I do. I had to work twice as hard as the guys, to be taken seriously, along the way, and have a very good professional reputation. However, I am still terrified that I am being judged as not measuring up to the capabilities of the males in this feel. There is no basis for my fear, but it’s there all the same. It’s crazy, yes, but very real.
Field, not feel ha ha ha
I’m sure “we” all gained some sense of being judged as a child when whatever adults were instrumental in teaching us and raising us to respond to the world in general. Perhaps there is a category of people who are indifferent to what others think of them but I believe it is rare. Even those who terrorize or are severely mentally ill want a kind of attention and to be judged, in my opinion. Without some of this reaction to others, most of us would feel isolated, I believe. However, as Sandra points out, there are situations which require that we operate with our own interpretation of what is important to us and react accordingly. I respect her comments . Somehow, I’ve never had a strong reaction to opinions of others about my relationships in the working world but my personal life situations have made me pause to think of how I am judged. When this happens, I need to stop and ask myself “Why am I doing this? Should I be doing it?” When this happens, I try to be my own judge.
Does anyone else think that a stiffling “being watched” phenomenon is instilled when we were children – perhaps waiting for “belittling” criticism from a parent, teacher, or other adult figure?
We were guests at a motel where there was a stated policy of “catch us at our best.” A card was given us to write the name of any employee found to be doing their job particularly well – and the employees knew it. It’s amazing what you see and how you act depending on what you are expecting to see.
Thanks, Warren, for your comment. I believe that often if , for instance, the management instills a sense in its employees of showing a sense of inviting patrons into a happy, welcoming place causes “good” employees to take up the challenge; I always enjoy being in a place like that.