The Christian holiday of Epiphany marks the visit of the Magi to the baby Jesus. They gave the baby gold, frankincense and myrrh. The baby gave them the revelation of the divine in human form. Sometimes you get the most surprising gifts in the most surprising places.
When has a gift come as an epiphany?
It has taken me a long time to understand words like
“epiphany” and other terms as specifically related to religion. I basically don’t use those terms to understand my life. However, since this nation is composed of so many Christians, these terms are widely used. As I understand the word, it is some sort of revelation that is unexpected. This can happen but one must keep one’s mind ready to recognize it. I don’t know that I have ever had an epiphany of a divine nature. I remember as a young adult I used to try praying but it never has satisfied me to do so.
My epiphanies usually come to me during the night and bring an awakening, a teaching, so deeply felt within that I am instantly elevated, rather dramatically moved, into new understanding. Yet there seems to be nothing on my part to bring this about. Instead I simple “get to” receive.
What is striking and hopeful is in knowing I have chronic P.T.S.D. from childhood abuse and am highly prone to traumatic flashbacks as my brain ages. However, since practicing meditation and finding inner stillness, my overall dreams have sweetly changed. And sometimes usher in an epiphany.
My last epiphany awakened me during the night with such a deep and abiding love for my now deceased parents, the cause of neglect and abuse. Justice seemed suspended, and I was okay with that shift because something bigger came over me, which felt like a tsunami of grace, that gave me a love for them like I had never felt before. Essence upon essence. Eternal. My intellect stood to the side as a witness to the peace swept over me as if I was looking at them for the first time–like a baby gazing into their eyes. The flashback of flashbacks!