Making amends to those we have hurt is often difficult. We need to figure out how to repair the brokenness without putting the labor (emotional or otherwise) on the person who has been harmed. We have to figure out what might make things right, and just do it, with no guarantee of success.
When has someone made amends for hurting you? How can you use that experience to do the same?
“May our hearts become large enough to recognize our own shortcomings in the ways we have treated others. May our hearts become large enough to extend sympathy to those who have hurt us. May our hearts become large enough to hold the complexity of the human spirit.” -Lane-Mairead Campbell
How can you extend sympathy to someone whose actions you resent?
In order to make amends for the things we have done to hurt others, we must first be honest with ourselves about what we have done.
Who have you hurt in the past year to whom you need to make amends?
“The challenges surrounding apologies and forgiveness, repentance and reconciliation, amends and atonement invite a lot of questions, and they’re neither simple nor theoretical. They impact the very structure of our criminal justice system. They are ever-present in our rapidly shifting conversation on sexual abuse. These questions haunt the legacies of every country touched by colonialism and white supremacy, and they hang painfully over our intimate bonds, our family and professional relationships, and our communities.”
-Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, On Repentance and Repair
When have you seen repentance and reconciliation work in your life?
Sometimes, our feelings are hurt by the actions of another. Sometimes, we hurt others’ feelings. How we approach repair in this situation is important–we must center the person who is hurt.
How have you experienced repair when your feelings have been hurt?
